I talked to Dave until about 5 in the morning. I called because I just wanted to babble in a goofy way at someone, maybe argue about movies or music, but it ended up being a pretty serious conversation.
It was good and bad. In a way, it made me realize that my feelings are sort of justified.
And in another it made me realize that I've just been feeling sorry for myself and it's time to just... sacrifice some of my hopefullness so that I can keep on breathing.
I don't *want* to just... turn into stone, but out of self defense, out of how much this hurts... I think I might have to.

I dunno.

i don't want to think about this right before work.