And he usually shares.
I wasn't going to post this but after sending it to Mistah Lovah Lovah, he said I had to post it and we all know I am the epitome of obedience.
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor, I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not alwyas follow the orders of the management team
you do not stay in your allocated potision, and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You'll retire well before reaching 65.
You're unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen contrantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.