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A little discussion about how I destroy men's souls.

mjfgates(16:53 PM) :
So, what do you *do* to destroy their souls? Make scathing remarks about their sexual abilities? Say sarcastic things about how intelligent and skilled they are?

Herbiscuits(16:53 PM) :
heheh

Herbiscuits(16:53 PM) :
I, apparently, love them as best I can, but never well enough for them. Yet, this somehow makes them want me forever.

Herbiscuits(16:54 PM) :
They've all so far thought that really... if they just found the key that could make me fall into a forever sort of love with them.

Herbiscuits(16:57 PM) :
and none of them have understood that I can love you, and fall out of love with you, and it never be your fault and you never changing. Aaaaand well, they've tended to be broken people anyway. Broken and looking for a PERSON to make them whole, deciding that person was me, and then having that decision bite them in the ass when I just can't be with them anymore.

mjfgates(16:59 PM) :
I don't suppose you want me to send you a copy of "The Missing Piece," then...

Herbiscuits(16:59 PM) :
hehehe

mjfgates(17:00 PM) :
So, you're not utterly and solely devoted to them, and that... um... er.

Herbiscuits(17:01 PM) :
I think it's possible to find your wholeness in another person. I don't think it's possible to do that if you're *looking* for that other person for the PURPOSE of making yourself whole.

Herbiscuits(17:01 PM) :
It's a fine, but important distinction, I think.

mjfgates(17:02 PM) :
Sheesh. Yes, it *would* probably help to hook up with somebody a bit more sane.

It's.. hm. I think I'm about as close to that as people get, and it's really not like that... you be yourself, and they be themself, and .. oh, bother, I don't quite have the words. Yes, the distinction is worth making, I can say that much.

Herbiscuits(17:04 PM) :
::nods:: I've been with men who were actively hoping that I was this thing that, getting thoroughly entwined with, would make it easier for them to just BREATHE on a daily basis. It doesn't work that way. If I'm as me as I can be, as complete on my own as possible... and if you're as you as you can be, as complete on your own as possibel... and then if we meet and we find that there are parts of ourselves that we didn't even know about that are fulfilled through the connection... that's finding your wholeness in another person. It's filling in spaces you didn't know you had.

Herbiscuits(17:05 PM) :
at least, I think it is.
I've never had it happen, I think. heh

mjfgates(17:07 PM) :
That's as good a description as I could come up with, I think. I guess the only other thing I could add is that it does take a while (like, a few years) to get all the way to that point.

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