I actually feel a little weird adding to the movie revenues on that, but well... I think about things like that.
I've felt like utter crap the last few days. Not physically. It's just the onset of usual holiday depressive things plus exhaustion plus the (now usual) feeling of having no friends.
It always unfortunate that you can't know everyone at the best point in their life. Lord knows I've ruined quite a few friendships and relationships by just not being in the best of places in my life. It's just *hard* on people because they don't know your history, they've never known you at your best. They have to just take your word that there's a better, happier, less tortured side of you... they just have to stick around for it.
Most people won't stick around for it.
The sad thing is... I think I'm peaking. I look the best I've looked, I feel the best I've felt, and I think I handle things better than I have before. So ... my peak is rather lackluster. I'm wishing (as usual) that there was someone around to appreciate it. Just some friends, not a relationship. I'm still in a state of "given up" regarding men. The ones I think I want are bad for me or don't want me. The one I don't want... well, they're necessarily disasters because I just don't want them.
Frankly, I've yet to meet a man who wasn't so utterly fucked up in one way or another that they're only a torture to the women they get involved romatically with. Yes, even those of you who are my friends, the ones I love dearly too... you're all fucking crazy and you aren't worthy of about half the people who give a shit about you.
And don't get me started on the women.
Got my other two netflix movies... picked up my schedule... Thanksgiving is coming and Christmas is 5 saturdays away.
I'll be broke soon as I'm determined to give presents this year.
I'm a miserable, cranky, bitter bitch. And sometimes, those are my good qualities. Sometimes I'm unfair and outlandish and rude and needlessly emotional.
But if I like you ... I like you more than most people in this world are fucking capable of.