A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

I went out to lunch with my mom and sister today. Plaza Azteca. The plan where the flan eth thoo good. Sometime, somehow... Karl has to be taken to this place. You can get just about everything ala carte and it's soooooo gaddamned good. And I think Karl is one of the few people who would appreciate that very few of the waitstaff and none of the kitchen staff speak English.
After that we went to MacArthur Center Mall, a 3 story behemoth in downtown Norfolk, where I was stunned again and again by the number of trend-victim yuppies and wanna-be yuppies in the crowds. I will fully admit that I have no style. But that means I just suffer through, having no style... it doesn't mean that I go out and buy one. Well, I'm not really in that tax bracket anyway. The only time I felt okay was in the bathroom surrounded by rail thin, intimidatingly manicured chicks with airbrushed names on their ripped up shirts. If you're from a certain kind of area... you know what I mean.

Even the 'weirdos' were so fucking upscale. I swear the goth chick with the ripped fishnets and combats was sporting a Coach bag.

But, I got almost all my shopping done and saw a sign on an animatronic fullsized Santa that said "Please Don't Touch Me ~Santa."
I need a giftcard for Carol (sister in law), a travel mug and a few little gag gifts for Stephen (my brother), one more thing for Alicia, something for my mom (and I think me and my sister have got that taken care of) and some stupid thing for my father... if he's lucky. Today I'm not feeling all that generous in that direction.

When we got done at the mall, we came back to the house to regroup and see what else was on my sister's list.
We were standing in the kitchen talking and my father came out. He'd already made it clear that he was in a really grumpy mood. I was standing there, spacing off, looking down at myself and realized I felt kind of bulbous. I was patting at my stomach and I said "ya ever just have a bulbous moment?" my sister knew what I was talking about and nodded and my father said "actually, you aren't doing bad now. About a year and a half ago you were pretty bulbous though."
And I , in a very obviously sarcastic tone, said "heh, so a year and a half ago I was a total fat ass... (and I laughed) ... just a word of advice... don't tell chicks they are or even WERE really big. It's one of those weird rules." He got really pissy really quickly and said that he was just attempting to pay me a compliment, but that he wouldn't let that happen ever again.
I could have apologized, explained that I was just joking, didn't mean to offend. But I didn't feel like it.
So I just stared at him a second and said "suits me"

He *really* didn't like that.

Fuck him with a stick.

So then we went back out, got gift cards from a few places, hit ANOTHER mall, and in the parking lot saw a truck covered in nascar stickers, a bumper sticker about god, a license plate that said "jsus luv" , and those bullet hole decals all over it.
Plus, it was a company truck for a stump removal service called "STUMP HOG," the logo for which (replete with Snarling Wart Hog) was emblazoned on the doors , right under the "ford 5-150" decal on the side, *and* right under the "god bless america" sticker on the bed door.
So it really read "God Bless America, Stump Hog." Good stuff.

But I missed the TechRadio show, which really sucks. And in sitting here typing this, I'm missing the SNL with Al Gore, which I actually wanted to see.

But.. but... like.. two more stops, baking, and cards (GOT to finish cards tomorrow) and I'll be done. Soo... that's good, right?

Oh yeah... Sheryl... give me your adress, durn it.

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