A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

  • Mood:
I just ate an entire roll of ritz crackers.
They were practically begging me to do it.

I really *really* need to clean off my desk. Becuase I would like to scan some photos. And also becuase I'm tired of the stacks of papers and envelopes and tissues. (you can definitely tell that I've been a victim of the cold season this year)

I've been harrangued into some wierd breakfast thing tomorrow. I was planning on ducking out of it with the excuse that, hey, it's at 9... I work at 6... can't be there, man. But since it's a WORK breakfast, they're apparently not going to give a shit about that. Melissa called me today to make sure I was going. TOLD ME I was going, actually. It's for all the employees who've gotten special recognition in one way or another over the last year. I was told a month ago that SEVERAL months ago I'd been given some doofy lil award thing. That's why I'm getting dragged to this thing.
It's for ALL the stores in the area too. So I get to be shamed and made to feel weird in front of lots of strangers too. In my work uniform.
But hey, as long as they're buying the coffee and pancakes I plan on consuming... that's alright I guess.
I've decided that when I was steadily and without fail feeling good on a day to day basis was when I wasn't thinking about it. When I wasn't thinking about it, I had a tendency to eat whenever the urge took me. And to eat whatever I was craving.
So fuck it, we'll give that a shot for a bit. I certainly felt happier today eating something around 10 o'clock and then again around 1 than I have eating nothing all day until about 8pm.
Heh, I wonder why...

The thing is.. the things I crave tend to be fruit and veggies more often than not. I'm not a freak for the super high fat or the super high sugar foods. Although I do every now and again just absolutely *require* a chocolate creme Krispy Kreme donut. heh.
So I'm not really food obsessive (as I appear to be looking over the journal lately)... I just have food based (mostly blood sugar) issues that not only effect my moods, but trigger migraines and bouts of extreme fatigue and so forth. I just ... well... I don't take very good care of myself.
Trying to fix that.

Think I'll start drawing dots on my forehead. In a random, but consistent configuration. With a blue marker.
Just so when people ask me what the dots are for I can sneer, say "you don't KNOW?" and then snort derisively.

There is a hunting show on the television right now.
Just my little opinion here... there's nothing neat or cool and certainly not *noble* or part of a proud tradition about shooting and killing animals. Especially when you're a well heeled yuppie fucker doing this shit for sport in your eddie bauer hunting vest.

I've been slugging down coffee for over an hour and I'm still not feeling any awake-ifying effects. And this lotion my mom gave me to use that's supposed to smell like almonds and honey smells like fresh quality tobacco.
Of course, I think several things smell like that.
Like freshly ground, freshly brewed good quality coffee. MmmMmm.

I was given a little gifty gift of a copy of Donnie Darko today. Just looking at the cover I got "Mad World" stuck in my head. If you've never heard the song... you should. Somehow or another when I first heard it, it was just the most heartbreaking thing. In a good way, really. It's just sweeping enough to be widely meaningful without being preachy. Just tender enough to be touching without being smarmy.

Oh I should write reviews. Maybe I could use the word "seminal".

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