A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

Woke up dis mornin.....

To my mom.
At ten o'clock.
Telling me that Wendy called and was just SHOCKED that I hadn't sent Stephen my resume yet.
I found out about the job late in the day Wednesday. I spent a fair chunk of Thursday tweaking, formatting, and rewriting bits of the resume and trying to figure out just how to word the attendant letter.
I had every intention of sending it today anyway.
Wendy was just SHOCKED that I hadn't sent it yet. She stressed that this was a very good opportunity and, furthermore, asked if I actually really wanted a job in the first place.
This coming from the sister who I had to ask 8 different times over the span of a MONTH to give me a quick sketch of a resume format. This coming from the sister who I asked 4 times to ask her boss what school in the area he would reccomend for a certified medical coding program (given that he runs a doctor's office, is a certified nurse and certified medical coder himself, as well as an actual *friend* of Wendy's. She talks to him many times throughout the day. I didn't think it would be a big deal.), but she never actually got around to that and I gave up.
This is the same sister who gave mother's day card to my mother *yesterday* and who remembered my birthday somehwere in the middle of january this year.
Procrastinating on the smallest of things. Wildly slow on the most important. She puts off everything... absolutely everything...
And she's having a little fit because I wasn't fucking PROMPT enough for her?

Not that big of a deal, I know.
But I has only been asleep since about 7:30, woke up with a headache and I'm kind of cranky when I wake up anyway.
It's all fixed now.
Resume sent. Talked to my brother.
He'll walk it down there. That'll be fine.

It never was a big deal. But I raged around for the first couple hours I was awake. Just blind angry. Slamming things around, breaking things, spilling things.. because when you're in that pissed off and rough mode, you just fuck *everything* up, so it just adds to the anger.
I"M calmer now.
Feel like a total idiot whenever I do that.
I'm certainly my father's daughter.
Not a happy thought.

I was supposed to hang with Dan today.
Dunno if I can do that, though.
He told me yesterday that he's in love with me.
And I told him that that's the worst possible thing he ever could have said to me.

And, him not understanding, I know it would just be... awkward and hard to be around him.

What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with MEN?
was that supposed to sweep me off my feet and I just... didn't read the stage directions right?

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