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it always suprises me when I get a cold. I can feel it happening for weeks, but on the first day that I can't breathe because of just how infected and sore my sinuses are, I'm numb with shock.

This morning I'm having cereal, carnation instant breakfast and coffee.
Becuase yesterday I was a zombie by 11am. I also need to pick up drugs more effective than advil cold and sinus. It just isn't doing the job.

Today I am helping with another backroom scan for electronics. (scan everything. Some things will be sent back to the distribution center because we got too many. Other things will be sent back to the manufacturer because we're no longer carrying them)

Hopefully it won't take long and I can put a decent dent in what I have left to do for the week, as I don't want week old revisions staring me in the face on monday.

I miss playing ruthless games of monopoly with my brothers and sister when I was very young. Chris would just make up new rules as we went along and I'm pretty sure that when Wendy and Stephen were 'helping me' with my money, they were ripping me off.
S'okay. I didn't really get the whole thing anyway.

Got into a conversation yesterday about my cynicism and how I don't expect anything from the world.
It's impossible to explain my 'humans will dissapoint me' standpoint to someone who's so incredibly positive that they can actually say things like "I will try to make the world a better place" and mean them.
I understand that from an outside view, my cynicism and snap judgement attitude seem calculating and mean and unfair.
::shrug:: I don't care.
And I know that my usual response of "either you get it or you don't" is really unsatisfying for those who either really want to understand or really want to seem like they do.
Again, I don't care.
If you know me, you know that I'm not a bitch. That I give people chances. That I'm a nice person who's open to niceness.
But if we're talking about the population in general and what I expect of them... yeah... I think most of them are just walking talking reasons not to breed.

I dunno... I have to go to work now. I'll have to see if I can find a way to make this all more coherent somehow.
People still won't understand it (well, the people who's real goal isn't understanding but *changing* won't get it) but I'll feel a little better about having made at least the mental effort.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
kaeren
Mar. 6th, 2003 09:46 am (UTC)
I've always tried to cultivate the attitude of "Expect nothing from people, and you'll never be too disappointed." I get it.
luvrhino
Mar. 6th, 2003 11:38 am (UTC)
I don't understand
to someone who's so incredibly positive that they can actually say things like "I will try to make the world a better place" and mean them.

I'm very cynical, yet i still try to make the world a better place. I'm just realistic about what i'm actually accomplishing.

Besides, Li'l Miss Cynical Pants, you make the world a better place simply by virtue of being here.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 6th, 2003 08:47 pm (UTC)
Re: I don't understand
*nod*
maddening
Mar. 7th, 2003 02:38 am (UTC)
Re: I don't understand
They meant it in that... self-help bookish way. If that makes any sense.

anyway, I was basically being told that I'm a bad person for making judgements about people based on what they watch and listen to. That those sorts of judgement calls are wrong and that there are better things to guage a person by.
And I agree that there are better things.
But chances are good that if you're wearing a stone cold steve austin t shirt, listening to limp bizkit, and babbling at someone about how great "dude where's my car" was, I will never get close enough to you to discern those deeper more meaningful things.

and I don't think I'm wrong for it.
If I miss out on a wonderful person, then damn... that really sucks.
But experience has taught me that, usually, most of the time, people *won't* suprise me with anything good.

luvrhino
Mar. 7th, 2003 06:27 am (UTC)
Sounds like somebody needs a fluffy bunny snuggle...
They meant it in that... self-help bookish way. If that makes any sense.

It might make sense, but just not to me. I try to help the world in a way that's not far removed from what i imagine a self-help book would recommend. One of the most exciting things for me during the past week was when i approached a red light with no traffic except the car in front of me, needing to make a right turn where there was no right turn lane available. I turned on my blinker early and the car in front of me moved left into the center lane so that i could make my right turn on red. I've done that courteous maneuver many times, but never had it done for me. I was thrilled.

I do, however, agree with your premise of "superficially" weeding out the unworthy based on the egregious pop cultural tastes. You have more worthwhile things to do than trying to get to know hundreds of, say, 7th Heaven fans just so you don't miss one wonderful person. Pretty much everyone does the same kind of filtering, though they might be filtering for fashion, religion, body types, or whatever. We don't have enough time in our lives to get to know everyone.

I like preaching to the choir because they end up agreeing with me and that makes me feel smart. ::nods::
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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