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I am actually *nervous* about going to take that freaking driver knowlege test tomorrow.
And it needs to happen tomorrow. I've just decided, dammit.
There's no reason to be nervous about this crap. I've taken it before. I'm not an idiot. It's all multiple choice, fer chrissakes.
But still.

I think it's just because this is something I should have done well... a really freaking long time ago...
But I didn't. Because I am queen procrastinator.
And now, it's been sitting there, undone, for so long that it's looming. It's become this HUGE DEAL just becuase I let it sit too long.

I'm almost done sorting out clothing. The stuff in the dressers, the stuff I had stored away... the only thing left is the closet and as far as I'm concerned, that stuff can stay there. It's not like it's anything I'm taking anyway. I don't think I've even opened that closet in 6 months.
Believe it or not... that's going to be the bulk of the packing.
I have a lot of fragile things to wrap up and pack. But I have the boxes for that. And then there's random junk (most of it plastic, silly, disposable...) and books.

I just have to think of things in baby steps or I'll freak myself out.
And freaking myself out is the last thing I need to do. Right now or *ever*.

The lack of support feeling has gone away, for the most part. At work... I don't really give a damn what they think. So the weird looks or incredulous questions just make me a lil more determined to get the hell out of there. At home the other night, when I was on the phone with Karl, my mom popped her head in my door and said "I swear... you two should just move in together," and then grinned her little grin.
Love my mom.

From general online people there's been a sort of moritorium on positive or negative thoughts. Probably because in the past I've been so very "fuck you, I don't want your opinion." Also, I'm sure some people are remembering some of my other moves and what bad ideas they were. And in this case too, I'll learn in my own time.
I'll learn that this was the best choice I could have made and that I've made myself very happy through my own actions.
::nods::
And of course, the largest amount of support always comes from Karl.
But we knew that.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
kaeren
Mar. 31st, 2003 11:43 am (UTC)
a lil from this corner too :)
wrekehavoc
Mar. 31st, 2003 11:54 am (UTC)
well, i could cheer you on, but hey, i think all the cheering you need is within yourself. if there's a deficit there, though, then consider yourself cheered on by this small corner :-)

and congratulations. i tend to associate people with songs, sometimes for meaningful reasons, sometimes for random reasons. for some reason, i am beginning to associate aimee mann's song "ghost world" with you. except that you will be bailing your town :-) yippee!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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