A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

Possibly offensive

"Remember, as a polyamorous person, his love for his other partners is just as valid as it is for you, and they will also feel the need to be acknowledged...and that her needs WILL likely require some emotional sacrifice from you, as well as time and finance. "

I agree on the sacrifices part. Sharing your loved one with someone else is going to require a lot of sacrifice unless you don't actually care all that much about them in the first place.

However to me the idea that you can be fully and completely in love with more than one person at a time is a view for the emotionally immature. For me personally, even the idea of polyamory as applied to my own life is revolting. I can't imagine being a 'primary' or 'secondary'. I can't imagine sharing someone I love with someone else and just being okay with this.
Yes, this is why I'm not a polyamorous person.

But usually a different point of view, way of life, mode of being and feeling, etc. I can understand. I can see how someone could feel that way. I am usually very very good at being empathetic and seeing someone else's point of view on things. But this has never been the case with polyamory. I've never been able to feel anything about it other than "why?" and "do you realize that this means that something is broken?"
You don't have to agree with me. And I'm not attacking.
I'm just honestly baffled by polyamory, how it works, and how it is ever fulfilling for both partners. It seems to me from what I've read in a lot of communities and sites that to make polyamory actually work there is *a lot* of effort involved, a lot of analysis, constant compromise and re-evaluation involved. Now I know that monogamy needs a lot of that as well for 90% of the people out there, but that usually comes down to being with someone who doesn't meet your needs. With polyamory it just seems to me that it's *impossible* to ever have both people's needs met.
I've never seen so much coaching about what's right and wrong in relationships, what constitutes an okay union, what is out of bounds, and how to suppress normal human emotions to get along better in a relationship.
Jealousy isn't a disease, but the way it's talked about in polyamory circles you'd think it was.

I don't know. I'm confused by the whole thing and by how it's ever enough or fulfilling, or anything that could make you honestly and lastingly happy.
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