I took his arms and kissed his lips
He looked at me with such a smile my face turned red
We booked a room into the Ritz
He gives me head
Jet boy jet girl
I'm gonna take you 'round the world
Jet boy I'm gonna make you penetrate
I'm gonna make you be a girl
Jet boy jet girl
On a completely different note, are all middle aged British men meddling, haughty, superior, gossips or am I just lucky enough to have a unique example living a few houses down?
He flagged me down the other day, nearly killed himself getting out his front door with his little cardigan and very warm cup of coffee (or tea with LOTS of milk) to tell me that there was a rumor in the neighborhood that we never paid the kid who cuts our grass.
The kid who *randomly* cuts our grass and only ONCE since last year, prunes bushes back so poorly that they're all half dead now, cut a bunch of limbs we never asked him to cut and then just added them to the pile of branches in the front yard that he's supposedly been going to remove since *NOVEMBER*, but who did actually do a really nice job of cleaning the gutters (that we never asked him to clean).
Who never made it clear exactly when he planned on continuing the promised yard work that he was already billing us for (and hadn't done) and who, incidentally we'd just paid with an additional $55 tacked on just becuase we felt bad about the bill getting to him a little late.
Oh, and the asshole was also concerned that we don't socialize with the neighbors, don't get out more, and that we must just spend all our time with the computers, and he let me know that part of life is getting out and meeting people and then made some vaguely rude comments about my being female, having all this extra time to take care of a dog, and how *I* must surely know about being social since I AM a woman... still not sure what he meant by that. You know, becuase it's awfully silly of us to not feel more of a kinship with a street full of middle aged housewives and their retirement aged husbands who are obsessed with their lawns. Such a wealth of life experience and good times there, ya know.
At some point he also assumed that when I said "Karl commutes every day to Dulles" that I meant "Dallas" as in Texas and asked me four different times if Karl flies down there every day, even after repeating "DULLES, VIRGINIA" to him each time.
Why the HELL would the american girl say "Dallas" with his british accent?
I'd love to know where he's from too. He's so strained, proper, and Jeeves-ish that we kind of thought he might be from south africa or something, as we'd never heard another accent quite like his.
On the upside, he ended up admonishing me for my dog's behavior when she (the very happy puppy) bounced around in front of him a few times and barked, causing him to jump back with a scared look, spilling is very warm beverage all over his hand.
On the downside, she only barked.