A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

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Hmm... I guess we're going through *that* phase again.

I don't like telling people they're being self destructive. But if I care about them, I'll say so. It's a rare person who can take that sort of criticism, and a rarer one who can manage to do anything with it. I've had my own self destructive tendencies pointed out to me time and again and I think so far I've done a pretty good job of changing things around without losing anything inherent to my nature.
I think that, along with everything I've learned about trust this year, I also need to start looking into who I care about, why, and if it's ultimately worth it. I'm tired of feeling like a complete asshole for nothing. If I've earned it (and sometimes I do earn it) I will gladly wear that hat. If it's just been handed to me, it's hard to feel like it's a fair trade off.

I guess I'm feeling a little pointless in general. Definitely misunderstood. Probably just expecting the wrong thing from the wrong person.
I'm sure it's not just *me*. But I'm also sure that my own behavior is the only thing I can actually change or even have an effect on.
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