I am sure this horrible mood I'm in right now is PMS. Which, I have found, I have no problem admitting to. I actually used to think I had PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) becuase of how incredibly depressed I got right before a period. Turns out that if you're already depressed, unhappy with your life, in a bad situation, with bad people, and little hope for change or happiness getting the "blues" easily turns into the "blacks".
I'm not denying my crazy.
I'm just saying that it isn't as bad as it used to be.
Last Saturday I had my first real martini. I want more. Karl is going to pick up some more vodka and some vermouth on the way home. I dunno if I should be having alcohol in my mood, but I think I'll bounce back before Karl gets home. How we ended up with 4 different types of vodka that are all flavored I have no idea. I honestly don't remember buying them.
More coffee? Should I? My hands are cold. It's the end of April, 50 some degrees and drizzly. I feel compressed today in a way I'm not used to feeling. Not stressed, not explosive, just... compact. small in the way things under shrink wrap are small.
More coffee. Less work.