Right now I am so keyed up, so emotional, that I didn't want Karl to go to work simply becuase I didn't want to be alone. And I'm having a hard time not going back and just deleting all of this becuase it sounds like a steaming pile of LJ drama-whore bullshit... except I don't have any tit shot icons to go with it.
I honestly think I'm in that place where I need just the *right* feedback. That I can't run the risk of no feedback once I put the problems out there... but worse than that I really don't want to have to explain myself or end up feeling defensive about things. I don't want to be mistaken for a drama causer. I don't want to be filed under "another hysterical female". Becuase I'm none of that and while *I* may know that and Karl may know that, how the hell would the rest of you, really? It passes the sounds like, walks like, looks like test and I know that. But I also know it's not that. So I stick to talking to Karl about it. Becuase he's got the inside track here and he's not likely to just think of me as hysterical any time soon.
anyway... that's my update I guess. Holly = not a happy person right now.