A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

I like that American English is a bawdy amalgam of so many other languages, conventions, and idiosyncracies. It makes it a very daunting task to learn for a non-native speaker (even those that speak English already), but it keeps it interesting. I've always liked that language lives and changes and evolves.

That said, there are a few words I want stricken. "'tis" and "'twas".

You are not Frank McCourt. You are not your D&D character. You are not a serving wench in real life, no matter what role you play at your local renfaire every year. You are a full grown American speaker with none of the qualifying characteristics that would make you use these words in your every day speech. It's forced, it's false, and most importantly, it makes you look like a giant flaming twat.

"'twas a really good movie. I love the spice girls." should never ever happen.
"'tis such a pain when my cellphone goes out of area." should come with a scarlet "A".

Let's all work together to stop being outrageous fuckheads trying to make ourselves seem more interesting than we are by employing trite Elizabethan language in lieu of actually BEING interesting or having actual writing talent.

Next Week... "Slash Fiction: Don't Let it Happen To You!"
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