A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

Sad

I hate to say this. But it's true. George Carlin is no longer funny.
My mom brought be a copy of "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops," George Carlin's most recent book. It's painful to read. It actually makes me MAD to read it. It's like a transcript of a Gallagher routine mixed with a large dose of babbling about Airports and a liberal sprinkling of the word "fuck". Page after page of "witty" banter about euphemisms and how "toilet paper" is now "bathroom tissue" and "brakes" on your car are now a "braking system". The world is full of marketting apparently. Good of Carlin to point it all out. How astute.
Worse than the never ending Gallagher-ness is the completely unfunny shit that's never been funny that he blatantly ripped off from someone else. "The future ain't what it used to be!" is a slogan you can find on any number of plastic keychains on a revolving display at your local Spencer's Novelty Store right between to the elephant shaped men's underwear and the glowing plasma balls.
When he does try to be biting or "edgy" it comes out all strange. His 3 paragraph talk about how great an entertainer Michael Jackson is and how he'd be happy to keep him well supplied in little boys might have made sense in 1985, when Jackson was still a great entertainer. Yes, 4 pages about how angry it makes you that those handicapped fucks get to board the plane first. And just what is the obsession with planes and airports. Didn't you cover all this 3 HBO specials ago? Right about the same time Ellen Degeneres was doing the same thing in HER stand-up routine?

He isn't even just *weird* like he used to be sometimes. Nothing just... off. Nothing just a little left of center. This book is jam packed with regurgitation, lameness, and the sort of comedic outpourings that Carlin used to be the EXACT OPPOSITE of.

I don't know what the timeline of the book is. He went into rehab for his issues with alcohol at some point recently. If it was before the rehab, then reading through this book is probably what sent him to the phone book for DEAR GOD anyone who could help him with his clearly debilitating issue. If it was after, he needs to find some other substance that gives him some level of pep and hands his balls back to him or give up on this whole "trying to be funny and acerbic" thing.
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