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I watched my neighbor take a shop vac and VACUUM THE LEAVES out of the small front bushes he has.

HE VACCUMED THE LEAVES.

He must hate us so much. I haven't raked a single leaf from the autumn. There are lots of fallen twigs in the yard. Brush, etc.

I feel that I am providing the neighbors a service. I am giving every single one of those rich, white, waspy, retired fuck-os something to look down on. They don't even have to search for something to feel superior to. They just need to swivel their eyes to the end of the street and immediately get the puff of haughty they need to get through their pathetic day.

When you find yourself with enough time on your hands to VACUUM THE BUSHES in front of your house just take a gun and kill yourself. You have too much time, you are only contributing to the heat death of the universe at this point.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
skreidle
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
I've got a leaf-blower that can vacuum 'n' shred, but that's just ridiculous.
maddening
Jan. 6th, 2006 05:32 pm (UTC)
I totally want one of those but couldn't justify spending the money on it at at time. Do they actually *work*? Are they worth it for managing a full yard of leaves? I'm just interested in getting them out of the front yard. They can all languish in the back as much as they like until I get to it.

We're in a heavily wooded area right by NoVA in Annandale/Fairfax and the sheer quantity of leaves is daunting. I'm not exactly wallowing in free time so anything that would make it easier to get that all sorted is *good*.

skreidle
Jan. 6th, 2006 07:51 pm (UTC)
I think I got the Toro one for about $60--might've been less, I don't recall exactly--and it actually works quite well. Two blower speed options, plus an additional blower tip to really blast certain areas; the high-speed is good for corralling leaves, the low-speed for neatly piling; the vacuum/shred mode does a good job of collecting and compacting the piles--a definite reduction on the number of bags you'd need. (The only hassle with vacuuming is if you have a lot of pinecones in your yard--they won't break anything, but they'll slow down the process as you power down and unjam; same with plastic chunks (dog toys, trash) in the yard. Beats the hell out of raking and bagging by hand, that's for sure.
skreidle
Jan. 6th, 2006 02:49 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, we also have a low perimeter of dense bushes across the front and one side of our front lawn, which conveniently catches half of the trash that blows down the street. classy!
mjfgates
Jan. 6th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
He NEEDS those leaves!
He's building a replica of the Brooklyn Bridge in his garage.
punkalicia
Feb. 3rd, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
(so, i'm a little behind)

i have a fantasy of hte perfect TERRIFYING christmas yard decoration for ya'lls house.

it involves animatronics, and a mooning santa.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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