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I'm trying really hard not to think about the fact that I'm trying to not think about smoking. I've smoked since I was about 14 or so. My dad was even younger when he started and he's going to be 65 this year. Not that my dad is some sort of example of glowing health or ... well anything else that you'd want to emulate. Just sayin.

I didn't really plan on quitting. It just sort of sounded like the smart move and I ran out of smokes. And it's been a few weeks since I've had a cigarette and I still desperately want one all the time. ALL THE TIME.

It's good that in general I don't have an addictive personality because I'd be so fucked in the ass if I ever had to quit something more addictive than nicotine. "Gum really helps." No, it doesn't, jackass. It just doesn't.

I'm having a hard time focusing on writing a report right now and I've exhausted my number of random searches for tangential thoughts and music is just making me look up other music. And hey - Karl just called. Sooo yeah. So much for knocking out this summary before Monday. That shit aint happening now.

I don't talk much anymore. Well, scratch that - I don't *write* much anymore. And good at it - bad at it - I always come back to it. So I'm going to try to put down some more of the random thoughts here more often. I resolve to do this every 6 months or so then don't. But DAMMIT maybe this time! (heh) I forget that I have this weird, faux-deep, wanna-be intellectual side to my nature that gets salty with too much TV watching, too little in the deep meaningfuls department. And then all of a sudden I turn up feeling wanting and missing things. I have to stop doing that.

I need some new user icons. Some of these are from over 3 years ago.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 28th, 2007 05:47 am (UTC)
Not too sound commercial or anything, but have you considered Chantix? Friend of mine who's a 25+-year smoker just quit a couple months ago, with nary a craving in over six weeks now. (I've also heard nothing but good about it. Well, aside from the possible nausea as a side effect--but when it comes to smoking cessation, top notch.)
Apr. 28th, 2007 10:23 pm (UTC)
I hadn't looked into any medications to stop smoking. It's not a physical craving - it's strictly behavioral at this point. In my head - I don't really *want* to not be smoking. I'm doing it anyway, though, because I feel like I should.

I've also been told (and seen for myself with my husband) that welbutrin is really effective at making you quit as well. If I can't get over the hump I'll look into something else. It's just a willpower thing at this point.

Apr. 28th, 2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
From what I've heard, it isn't nicotine-replacement or anything like that--it stops the cravings and desire to smoke by blocking the receptors that release dopamine when nicotine hits them. It seems that you take it for a while, and one day, your body just doesn't have any desire to pick up a cigarette. (Apparently they also have a program to help break the physical cycle.)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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