I'm trying really hard not to think about the fact that I'm trying to not think about smoking. I've smoked since I was about 14 or so. My dad was even younger when he started and he's going to be 65 this year. Not that my dad is some sort of example of glowing health or ... well anything else that you'd want to emulate. Just sayin.

I didn't really plan on quitting. It just sort of sounded like the smart move and I ran out of smokes. And it's been a few weeks since I've had a cigarette and I still desperately want one all the time. ALL THE TIME.

It's good that in general I don't have an addictive personality because I'd be so fucked in the ass if I ever had to quit something more addictive than nicotine. "Gum really helps." No, it doesn't, jackass. It just doesn't.

I'm having a hard time focusing on writing a report right now and I've exhausted my number of random searches for tangential thoughts and music is just making me look up other music. And hey - Karl just called. Sooo yeah. So much for knocking out this summary before Monday. That shit aint happening now.

I don't talk much anymore. Well, scratch that - I don't *write* much anymore. And good at it - bad at it - I always come back to it. So I'm going to try to put down some more of the random thoughts here more often. I resolve to do this every 6 months or so then don't. But DAMMIT maybe this time! (heh) I forget that I have this weird, faux-deep, wanna-be intellectual side to my nature that gets salty with too much TV watching, too little in the deep meaningfuls department. And then all of a sudden I turn up feeling wanting and missing things. I have to stop doing that.


I need some new user icons. Some of these are from over 3 years ago.