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Okay, so I just wandered out there and cut the grass. Only took about an hour which is a hell of a lot less time than I thought it would take. And I cut the WHOLE yard instead of just the part I was planning. I deserve praise, treats, and a nice allergy medication. I've never been allergic to cut grass so I'm pretty sure I just mowed over something else growing in the yard that kicked off the sneezing fit. The yard is only partially real grass anyway. The rest is wild pansies (which are beautiful in early spring) and various vines, plants, etc. that equal "random green stuff". And a fuckton of those fucking ink plants that. Fucking hate those things.

I'm the anomaly on the street. Every other person out there with a mower is a guy. They don't share the yard secrets with me or invite me into their end-of-the-driveway huddles. And their wives certainly aren't bringing *me* any glasses of lemonade while I toil in the heat.

I like the *concept* of having the big back yard. I absolutely hate having to cut it.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 11th, 2007 07:04 pm (UTC)
you know, that part where the lawn just KEEPS FUCKING growing here is really weirding me out. we have a few bits that are rapidly approaching waist height, and my christian science method of lawn care is clearly failing.

we did contemplate the slash/burn method, but i hear the neighbors get real fucking squirrelly about that shit.

we've actually lucked out somewhat, friends of ours work at Trosa (they do drug rehab for real people), and apparently trosa's lawn care group is super awesome and super cheap. i feel like i've completely failed by hiring someone, but until shit settles down...i'm just going to have to feel like a filthy consumerist pig.

until it's all converted to my UBERGARDEN. and then i'll plant corn in the front and fake that it ain't all weeds back there.
May. 11th, 2007 07:24 pm (UTC)
If we had the money right now, we'd have yard people. Because most of the front yard doesn't actually want to grow grass so it's patchy as hell. And as far as the neighbors can tell I'm just here at home all day. But as I'm sure you can attest to - working at home means you're really a fuck load more tied down. I can't leave the office at the office. So if you see me standing in the backyard with the dog reading a book for 5 minutes it's not just me continuing on in my lazy way. That's my lunch break. I have to scramble and reschedule in order to find time to go out there and cut that shit.

I never ever knew that grass would just... keep going. I really never realized that. I thought it would get to a certain height, develop seeds, and stop. But NO. I've always been crappy about keeping up on cutting the grass. Because I'm not willing to sacrifice time with Karl in order to do it and most of the lawn obsessed people in the neighborhood are out there all weekend, avoiding their spouses at all costs. When my yard is immaculate all the time you'll know me and Karl are no longer getting along OR that I'm unemployed.
May. 11th, 2007 07:40 pm (UTC)
ohhh, i hate hate hate the people that are all 'but your at home all day, why don't you just blah!' nothing makes me break out my hobo gutting stick faster.

although i didn't realize just how bad it was until the last few weeks. if i go to the bathroom and someone calls, all of a sudden i have to justify where i was. *grumbles* stupid assholes! i was PEEING ok!

i am still developing my gnome army, but when i'm in production, you will have yard gnomes. filthy scary dirty gnomes. with glowing eyes. because you know i'm all about upsetting the neighbors...

does crazy english lawn nazi still live next to you guys?
May. 11th, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
Yeah, just a few doors down. He hasn't spoken to me in about a year, though he occasionally still stands near the end of his driveway, hands on his hips, glowering at me when I'm out with the dog.

Frankly - his yard is regularly trimmed, but it looks like shit. And it's in full sun so there is really no excuse. Our yard doesn't like to grow grass because I haven't found the magical "heavy shade" grass seed yet or raked out all the ancient "under the grass" leaves in order to get it started.

No really - his yard looks like shit.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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