Okay, so I just wandered out there and cut the grass. Only took about an hour which is a hell of a lot less time than I thought it would take. And I cut the WHOLE yard instead of just the part I was planning. I deserve praise, treats, and a nice allergy medication. I've never been allergic to cut grass so I'm pretty sure I just mowed over something else growing in the yard that kicked off the sneezing fit. The yard is only partially real grass anyway. The rest is wild pansies (which are beautiful in early spring) and various vines, plants, etc. that equal "random green stuff". And a fuckton of those fucking ink plants that. Fucking hate those things.
I'm the anomaly on the street. Every other person out there with a mower is a guy. They don't share the yard secrets with me or invite me into their end-of-the-driveway huddles. And their wives certainly aren't bringing *me* any glasses of lemonade while I toil in the heat.
I like the *concept* of having the big back yard. I absolutely hate having to cut it.