(I don't care that they're fucking huge)
He was having issues with incontinence. Given that his sister died from kidney failure years earlier and he had a history of UTIs I asked my mom to take him in to the vet to have him checked. That was 3 months ago. She never did. I fully believe that had he been cared for differently he'd still be around. There was no reason for him to die in pain. They put him to sleep because he would have required surgery to remove the stones in his bladder and the recover would have been difficult for a 19 year old cat. I understand that the failure of major body symptoms is just a part of death. But just ignoring it and not even trying to at least make him comfortable is unfuckingforgivable to me. I'm bitter and angry about it and probably will remain so for awhile.
My mom has been talking about "when Whiskers dies" for awhile now. In a happy "won't that be swell" sort of way. So yay for mom! I know there's more to it. I know that there's a measure of "ah it's just a cat" she's done for a long time to try to make it easier for herself and not get attached. But right now I'm just mad and want to be mad and short sighted and unsympathetic. Later I'll look at it all like a rational person. Just not yet.