A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

I lack willpower

I didn't eat anything last night because I got busy and forgot. Then I didn't get to sleep until around 4 this morning.

I had some toast earlier. But nothing since. I think I should probably find/make food.

I have no motivation to go cook. And I just don't feel like ordering anything either. If Karl were here either of those things would be fine. but I don't feel like cooking for myself or going through the bother of an order just for me.

Karl left Tuesday. I've literally talked to him for less than 5 minutes since then. For a minute while he waited on a shuttle, for a minute while he was working the other day. I've had just as few texts with him too.

I can deal with him traveling or me traveling or whatever. I can deal with being alone just fine. I'm pretty good at it, actually. but it sucks that I haven't even talked to him, really. And I honestly don't know when he was supposed to be back. I know... 4 days no contact doesn't seem like a lot. But I've spent every day since December 14th with him in touching distance up until 3 weeks ago when all the travel stuff started up.

Also - I've lost my ability to play games on the computer. It has become a work-only thing at this point. I loaded up WoW earlier and kind of ran around in one of the areas, started to fly off somewhere and then just logged out. In just 10 minutes I tabbed out twice to refresh my mail despite not really expecting anything to show up. I just want to wind down a little, sit here and do nothing but entertain myself for a few hours. And I feel like I can't. Books make me thinky and I just want to talk about them. There aren't any shows that I want to see that aren't recorded for me and Karl to watch together. Same with movies. It's just sad when a house filled with as many distractions and opportunities to do nothing but goof off is just leaving me cold.
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