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YAWN!

I was given this book called "Yawn!" by my very sarcastic friend, Dan.
Dan knows that I'm an insomniac I have been since I was in high school. It really ramped up around age 16. I was a junior, the only freak in school, and too intellectual for anyone's good, especially my own.
Anyway.. this book is a collection of boring things to read. a tip table. A long article about hair loss and what you can do about it. parts of Clinton's impeachment hearing testimony. Boring boring stuff.
But the first thing has got me laughing.


"On the morning of December 21, 1970, Elvis Presley personally delivered a letter to the northwest gate of the White House. Written on AMerican Airlines stationery, the five-page letter requested a meeting with President Nixon. Presley intended to present the President with a gift of a World War II-era pistol and obtain for himself the credentials of a federal agent in the war on drugs.
The following is a transcription of the letter that Elvis Presley delivered to the White House on December 21, 1970


Dear Mr. President,
First, I would like to introduce myself. I am Elvis Presley and admire you and have great respect for your office. I talked to Vice President Agnew in Palm Springs three weeks ago and expressed my concern for our country. The drug culture, the hippie elements, the SDS, Black Panthers, etc. do NOT consider me as their enemy or as they call it The Establishment. I call it America and I love it. Sir, I can and will be of any service that I can to help The Country out. I have no concern or Motives other than helping the country out.
So I wish not to be given a title or an appointed position. I can and will do more good if I were made a Federal Agent at Large and I will hep out by doing it my way through my communications with people of all ages. First and foremost, I am an entertainer, but all I need is the Federal credentials. I am on this place with Senator George Murphy and we have been discussing the problems that our country is faced with.
Sir, I am staying at the Washing Hotel, Room 505-506-506. I have two men who work with me by the same (sic) of Jerry Schilling and Sonny West. I am registered under the name of Jon Burrows. I will be here for as long as it takes to get the credentials of a Federal Agent. I have done an in-depth study of drug abuse and Communist brain-washing techniques and I am right in the middle of the whole thing where I can and will do the most good.
I am Glad to help just so long as it is kept very Private. You can have your staff or whomever call me anytime today, tonight, or tomorrow. I was nominated this coming year of America's Ten Most Outstanding Young Men. That will be in January 18 in my home town of Memphis, Tennessee. I am sending you the short autobiography about myself so you can better understand this approach. I would love to meet you just to say hello if you're not too busy.


Respectfully, Elvis Presley

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