A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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Changed my style here a lil.
I'll probably be screwing with the colors more.
Do not attempt to adjust your monitor.
It's okay.
everything's okay.

I don't like the fact that I feel like I'm writing for an audience these days.
So I think I'll stop writing for the audience.
I was told that putting up lil IM snippets is 'annoying'
well fuck off then.
I don't put them there for *you* I put them there for *me*
When I start posting them in *your* journal's you can bitch.

That post from a few days ago with that whole 'gender bashing' comment thing is still annoying me. I'm not sure why.
I feel.... utterly misunderstood when shit like that happens. Something I should be used to, but every now and again is still surprises me. And it also makes me think that maybe my own powers of perception are horribly off. That I overreacted and that I maybe I should have seen what he had to say as an agreement.
I know I'm giving this too much thought.
But that's what I do.
I over analyze.
It's why I'm usually prepared for just about anything that comes my way. You have to work pretty damned hard to do something I hadn't even thought of you doing. Or you have to be a total stranger. And even then, there's a pretty good chance I'll already have some ideas.
SO yeah... thinking about this way too much.
Because, really, it still annoys the fuck outta me.
I think the thing that annoys me most is that lil comment about "excuse you." being an incomplete sentence.
I only ping on people's grammar when I'm *trying* to be an asshole.
And most people are the same way.
They do it when they really have no argument or they know they're being a lil bitch.
So I don't know which it was with him. Or if he's just like that. Because I really haven't had enough contact with him to gauge.
I think he's one of those people that's on my friends because they are very very not me. He's very much immersed in all those things I usually find myself rolling my eyes at. Artists who take themselves too seriously. Simple speech hiding in the guise of what must *surely* be some massive profundity because, well, it's coming from them, isn't it?
I'm not really trying to be insulting, just honest.
But yeah... I go out of my way sometimes to be around people who I don't really dig too much. Making myself find the good and the nice and the things that I *can* dig.
I think that while I'm sitting here coolin my ass online, why the hell not do some consciousness expansion?
You learn more from the people who aren't like you at all then you do from the people who are.

I found this Va beach person .. uhm.. last night I think? (no sense of time.. beh.. ) whos just really damned interesting. He's much younger than me... but yeah ... very stripped down way of talking about his things. Nice free flow. honesty.
Hard to find that.
And it's not the contrived trite things that people of his age usually say.
It's not full of cheesy poetry.
It's nice.

I'm in the oddest fucking mood today, dammit.
And ya know.. if the ride would have waited 10 damned minutes I could have fulfilled all those obligations and I wouldn't be sitting here right now feeling half guilty.

What the fuck am I going to do with myself, hmm? bleh.

I'm sick of everyone forcing logic on the world.
fuck logic.
there is no reason the emotional rampage needs to be reigned in.
Logic is the nice word we give to suppression.
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